Charge of 
The Consul 



BY 



ELLA FLORENCE PADON. 




PRICE 25 GENTS 



Eldridge Entertainment House 

Franklin, Ohio 



RELEASED FOR AMATEUR PRODUCTION. 

"Tbe Little Politician" 

Br SEYMOUR S. TIBBAL.S 



A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS 

SEVEN MALES AND THREE FEMALES 



"^ITHIS play was produced professionally 
^^ for several seasons under another title, 
and is now released for amateur production 
without royalty and without restrictions 
of any kind. The scenery and costumes 
are simple. Time, about two hours. A 
young society girl plays an important part 
in overthrowing a corrupt political boss 
and brings about the election of her 
fiance. The race for the hand of a 
wealthy widow by rival suitors furnishes 
the comedy. A pretty story is unfolded, 
but without actual love-making or any 
scenes objectionable to the amateur. 
Recommended for high schools and dra- 
matic clubs. 

^I^The garden party in the second act affords 
opportunity for the introduction of any number of 
characters. 

PRICE, 23 CENTS 

Sent Postpaid on Receipt of Price by tiie 

ELDRIDGE ENTERTAINMENT HOUSE 

Franklin, Ohio 



IN CHARGE OF THE CONSUL 



A Comedy in Three Acts. 



By Ella Florence Padon. 



CopyriKlit, 1915, Kldrldg*^ Entertainment House. 



PUBLISH B: I) BY 

Eldridge Entertainment House, 



FRANKLIN, OHIO. 









CAST OF CHARACTERS. 

Mr. Wentworth, American Consul. 

Madam Wentworth, (Tante Marie) Wife of Consul. 

Myra, Niece of Consul. (In charge of Consul.) 

Cornelia \ Friends of Myra. 

Fbra I ^^ charge of Consul. 

Baron Von Barnhelm, Suitor to Myra. 

Baroness Von Ehernberg, Aunt of Baron. 

Jack, An American Lover. 

Charley, A Friend of Jack. 

Susanna, Maid. 

Fritz, Servant to Baron. 

Officers, Friends of Baron. 

Tom, t 

Dick, < Heidelberg Students. 

Harry, ( 

Place: Karlsruhe, Germany. 

Costumes, Modern. 



TMP96-0 06868 



DEC 20 191! 



In Charge of The Consul 



ACT L 

(Salon of American Consul. Door L, adjoining 
room. Door C, hall. Walls drajjed tvith American 
flags. Table, chairs, sofa.) 

(Enter Effie, followed by Flora and Cornelia, all in 
evening dress. ) 

Effie (Looking aroimd) Myra! Myra! Where in 
the world is she? Doesn't she know that we are to be 
here at eight o'clock promptly? We are to practice 
our courtesies once more, before the company comes. 
Just to think, girls! We are to meet all the High 
people in Karlsruhe, tonight! Isn't it great? (Claps 
hands softly, and frisks about the room gaily.) 

Cornelia (seating herself upon the sofa, very digni- 
fied.) There, there, Effie! Don't get so excited! Cul- 
tivate repose! my dear. Cultivate repose! 

Effie (indignantly) Cultivate repose, indeed! 
How can you cultivate repose, when you are making 
courtesies I'd like to know? Oh dear! I wish Myra 
would come. What is she doing? 

Flora She's up stairs writing to Jack. 

Effie Waiting to Jack! Such devotion. That's the 
third letter this week. 

Flora No wonder! She's engaged to him! Besides, 
she's so anxious now about the elections. You know 
Jack is running for the Legislature. 

Effie Oh yes! The elections! I most forgot. What 
exciting times they must be having over there in the 
dear old state of Ohio! Or, as Tante Marie calls it— 
0-hee-o. 

Cornelia I do hope Jack will be elected. But I am 
afraid, — 

Flora Of course he will! Everybody likes Jack! 



4 In Charge of the Consul 

Cornelia Yes, but it's those horrid rings and ma- 
chines. 

Effie (amazed) Rings and machines! Why what 
on earth? 

Cornelia PoHtical rings and machines, of course, 
goosie! They are working against him, but all the 
best people are for Jack, and a splendid fellow he is, 
too. 

Flora Yes, indeed! Father says, he is one of the 
most promising young men in the State, and that he 
will make his mark in the world, someday. He 
is awfully in love with Myra. I suppose they will be 
married as soon as we return to America. 

Cornelia Not if Tante Marie has anything to do 
with it. I think she is planning to marry her off to 
some of these good looking officers, over here,— a 
title, perhaps. 

Effie Myra-! Do you think for one moment that 
Myra would go back on Jack? Never, never, never— 

(Enter Myra, door L.) 

Myra Why Effie! What are you so excited about? 
What were you girls discussing? 

Cornelia (Embarrased) Why, why, why— 

Effie We were just talking about the elections, of 
course, and all the exciting times they must be hav- 
ing over there, now. It makes me just homesick to 
think of it. I wish I'd never come to Germany! I'd 
go home tonight if I could. {Puts her hands up to 
eyes. ) 

Myra (putting arms around Effie, affectionately) 
There Effie, this will never do. You must not be get- 
ting homesick. But you won't feel this way, after 
you have met some of these good-looking young Offi- 
cers, who are coming tonight. 

Effie I don't think they are so very good looking. 
Stiff as ramrods— everyone of them. Looks as if 
they had swallowed telegraph polls. And they walk 

i^CLD 42593 



In Charge of the Consul . 5 

like this, {walks across floor in a stifle grotesqrie way. ) 
Girls laugh. ) 

Flora (teasinghj) Now, Effie, you know you 
thought that young Officer we saw at the Palace this 
morning, was awfully good looking. 

Cornelia The one Myra took for a guide, and tried 
to fee? Oh, but that was funny! {all laugh) I never 
will forget the look on his face, Myra, when you 
handed him that mark. 

Myra I don't see anything so very funny about it. 
It was an awful blunder, and I am so mortified about 
it. I hope we will never meet him again. 

Cornelia And I hope we will. 

Eflie {brightening up) So do I. Maybe we'll meet 
him tonight. Wouldn't it be funny? Say, girls, I am 
glad I came to Germany! I do believe something in- 
teresting is going to happen. 

Cornelia {pointing to Effie' s ears. ) Effie, you are 
not going to wear those earrings! Don't you remem- 
ber what Tante Marie said about diamonds? Young 
girls do not wear them in Germany. Remember you 
are only fifteen. 

Effie I don't care. My papa gave them to me, 
just before I came away, and I am going to wear them. 
I think they look lovely. {Dangles them.) 

Myra But you must not. Take them off. Quick. 
Here comes Tante Marie! 

{Effie S7iatches off earrings, and hides them in dress. 
Enter Madame Wentivorth, someivhat shotuily gotimed. 
She speaks with German accent. ) 

Madam Ah, my dear young ladies! You are all 
ready, I see! That is good, {surveys them each criti- 
cally.) Yes, yes. You look very well. I am quite 
satisfied. {Sits doiun, fans herself vigorously.) And 
now, young ladies, you haff not forgotten all the 
things I haff' told you? 

Effie About sitting on the left end of the sofa? Or 
is it the right side? Let me see. If it's on the left 



6 In Charge of the Consul 

you are right; but if you are on the right you are left. 
Is that it right? 

Madam {lifting hands in horror) No, no, mein 
kind. On the left. Always on the left. The right 
is for the lady of highest of rank, always. That you 
must not forget. Now for the courtesies. 

{Each make courtesy in turn, Effie last, tries to 
make cheese, falls on floor. ) 

Effie Oh dear. Dress too tight. I used to make 
lovely cheeses when dresses were full. 

Madam Ach. du lieber Gott! Will you disgrace 
me? What shall I do. Ach. What shall I do? {Wrings 
hands. ) 

Cornelia Never mind, Tante Marie. She is only 
teasing. She won't do that tonight. 

Madam I hope not. Ach not. And now, one thing 
more, you must not forget. The higher the rank, the 
lower the courtesy. 

All {Repeat together. ) The higher the rank, the 
lower the courtesy. 

Madam The lowest of all, to the Baroness von 
Eherenberg. For why? Listen, I tell you. She is 
the aunt of the Baron von Barnhelm. And it is he, 
my dear, you are to meet tonight. 

Cornelia Oh, a Baron, 

Flora A Baron, indeed. 

Effie A real live one? 

Madam Naturlich. Do you think you could meet 
a dead one? Yes, he iss alive. He is— what you call 
it, in America? 

Cornelia A catch? 

Madam Yes, Yes, that is it. One great catch. 
Come! I tell you. {Myra appears indij^erent. Moves 
away to other side of room, sits down to table, looks 
over paper's. Girls draiv up chairs around Madam 
who speaks confidentially.) 

Madam The Baron, my dears, is high! Ferry 
high! 



In Charge of the Consul 7 

Effie Tall, you mean? 

Madam No, no, no! High born! High rank! High 
family! He haff lands— he haff castles— he haff great 
estates, —but— he haff no money. 

Effie Oh, yes! I understand! Sorta land poor! I 
had an uncle once who was just that way. Had a 
thousand acres of land out West, but he couldn't 
raise enough on it to buy himself a new shirt. 

Madam His aunt, the Baroness, haff a fortune— a 
small one, which she giff him, providing he marry to 
suit her. Already haff she found a wife for him, but 
the Baron he like her not. She is old— she is ugly- 
she iss lame— she iss lame— she squints. She is deaf. 
She carries one long— ah,— what you call it in 
America? 

Cordelia A trumpet? 

Madam Yes, yes— that iss it. So you see the Ba- 
ron, he like her not. He desires youth! beauty, also 
with money. Now Myra— {drops voice, glances cau- 
tiously toward Myra) she iss young, she iss beautiful, 
her father, not so rich, perhaps, but she haff an uncle, 
I hear, who iss one millionaire. And w^hat would he 
not do for the honor of becoming the uncle to a Bar- 
oness? 

Cornelia But, Mr. Skidmore isn't that kind. 

Madam Ah! do I not know you Americans? Haff 
I not heard ? 

Cornelia But all Americans are not like that, and 
Mr. Skidmore— 

Madam Ah, yes. I know— I know. {Waving her 
hands knowingly. ) 

{Enter Susanna door C.) 

Susa7ina De Baroness von Eherenberg. {exit) 

Madam Ah, they arrive— our guests! Now re- 
member, young ladies what I haff told you. Cast 
down your eyes and look modest. {Effie slyly dons 
earrings. ) 



8 In Charge of the Consul 

Enter Baroness von Eherenherg, a stout little wo- 
man showily dressed, carrying lorgnette, followed by the 
Baron von Barnhelm. handsome young officer, and 
several other guests. Madam greets all graciously, par- 
ticularly the Bareness.) 

Madam Ah, my dear Baroness! It rejoices 'me 
greatly to behold you to-night. Such joy I have! And 
the Baron! Delighted! 

Baroness (loftily) Ess freut mich sehr. 

(Baron bends loiu over Madam's hand and kisses it) 

Madam (turning to Baroness) Ah, my dear Bar- 
oness! I wish you to make the acquaintance of my 
dear young ladies, (presents young ladies) Fraulein 
Wentworth, Fraulein Read, Fraulein Clifford, Fraulein 
Dean, (girls moAx courtesies) My dears, the Baron 
von Barnhelm. ( The Baron places one hand on his 
heart, the other on his sivord and makes grandly pro- 
found boiv to each. Myra and Baron both give start, 
as they recognize one another. They draw apart to left 
and enter into conversation. Madam and Baroness 
occupy center of stage. 

Madam Ah, my dear Baroness, you will find my 
dear young ladies most charming, most delightful, I 
assure you. 

Baroness (Raising lorgnette, regards the girls dis- 
approvingly. ) From America, you say ? New York ? 

Madam No, no. From 0— hee— o. Fine large 
place! 

Baroness Neffer, neffer, before haff I hear of 
0— hee— o. Is it in South America, or in North 
America? 

Madam In— in— I think it is South America. No— 
let me think. I believe it is North America. Yes, I 
am sure it is North America. It makes no difference, 
all the same. A wonderful country. And the Ameri- 
can girl! Ach mein Gott! She is so rich— so beauti- 
ful—so clever. 

Baroness Ah, yes! But— the American wife! Ach! 



In Charge of the Consul 9 

What do I hear? She is one Herumlaufer. She goes 
here— she goes there— she goes everywhere; she stays 
neffer at home. She rules over her husband— she 
keeps him foreffer under the slipper. 

Madam Nein, nein! 'Tis not so. 'Tis only slander. 
She makes one good wife. Very clever— but very 
obedient to her husband. And so rich. 

Baroness Ya— ya— dot iss wahr. So rich! So rich! 
So rich! 

Madam Come. I will tell you about my dear 
young ladies. {She draws Baroness to right side of 
stage, toivard sofa. Each motions the other to be seated 
Hrst. ) 

Madam Bitte— bitte — bitte — bitte. 

Baroness Bitte— bitte — bitte— bitte. 

{Both sit down at same time, Baroness at right, 
Madam W. at left of sofa. Baroness glances frequently 
toward Myra and Baron, through her lorgnette, 
frowns, looks anxious and disturbed. 

Baron. {In a tone of surprise.) Is it possible, 
Fraulein, you do not recall our little tete a tete in the 
palace only yesterday? Surely I do not deceive my- 
self. It was your lovely countenance that lured me 
on, from one of the salons to another, till I found you 
in the Grand Salon. 

Myra {Imiocently.) Why, my dear Baron, surely 
you must be mistaken. Another party perhaps— 

Baron No, no. Impossible! Your voice! It is 
the same. Tell me, is it that you have forgotten, or 
that you do not wish to remember, that to me, most 
happy occasion ? You fear perhaps that I make men- 
tion — 

Myra No, no, I think only you have been dream- 
ing. 

Baron {Rubbing his brow thoughtfully.) That I 
might well believe, but, {pulls the mark out of his 
pocket and holds it up triumphantly. ) Here I haff 



10 In Charge of the Consul 

proof. Is it not then the mark you gave me? I wear 
it since, near my heart, 

Myra. {Glances at it, turns aivay quickly) A very 
dingy one indeed, it is hardly worth keeping. 

Baron {Rapturously) Ach, Fraulein. I would 
have it polished— enameled— set in diamonds, if you 
would permit. 

My7'a {Indifferently) What have I to do with it? 

Baron {Perplexed.) You still deny? You are angry 
perhaps, that I took it under false pretenses. If so, 
then I return it, though it rend my heart. {Hcmds 
her the coin regretfully. ) 

Myra {Much softened, pushes it away.) No, no, I 
will not take it back. 

Baron {In joyful accents.) Ah! Take it back! 
You acknowledge it then? 

{Baroness arises from sofa and begins to move sloivly 
toivard the Baron and Myra.) 

Myra {Laughing) Yes, I acknowledge it. But it 
was such a ridiculous mistake for me to make — 

Baron Ridiculous? No, it was heavenly, it was 
divine, it has given me such joy, such happiness! 

Myra It was very kind of you to take it so. It 
was really quite annoying to me. Please, do not let 
us speak of it again. 

Baron {Putting mark in his pocket.) No, no, not 
if it be painful to you. Nothing would I do that might 
be painful to one for whom I feel so high, so exalted 
—permit me to say, so tender— 

Baroness {Edging tip to Baron, with ivrathful 
countenance.) Berthold, Berthold! Ich will nach 
hause. 

Baron {Turning impatiently toicard his aunt for 
an i)istant, then resuming his conversation.) As I was 
saying, Fraulein so tender a regard— 

Baroness {Edging nearer, nudging his arm.) 
Berthold! Berthold! 



In Charge of the Consul 11 

Baron Ya, ya, ein par minuten, 

Baroness {Catches hold of arm, draws him aivay.) 
Nein, nein! Kammen sie, kammen sie! Schnell, 
schnell! 

Baron {Turning to Myra.) We meet again,— to- 
morrow night— after the opera. Auf Viedersehen. 

{Baron and Baroness move away, pass in front of 
Effie. Baroness stojjs, regards ear-rings. 

Baroness Timonds, timonds, timonds! 

Effie {Imitating tone and gesture.) Yes, timonds, 
timonds, timonds! Don't you Hke them? 

Baroness Nein, nein! You are ein kind! You haff 
no right to— no beezniz! 

Effie I guess I have, if my father gives them to 
me. We wear what we please in America. 

Baroness America! Ach! Was feir ein land istdat? 
Heidenish, Schamlos, Goot for noddings! No man- 
ners-no- 

Effie {Indignantly, finger uplifted.) Don't you 
say such things about my country! I won't have it, 
so there! It's the greatest, and the grandest country 
in all this world. Let any one say it isn't if they 
dare! 

Baroness {Gasping for breath. )Yotl Vot! You 
speak like dat to me, to me! Ach! Du lieber Gott! 
Berthold, take me away— take me away! Ach! Ach! 
Ach! {Falls back gasping, into Berthold' s arms, 
luho leads her, half fainting out of the room. Exit C.) 

Madam {Bustling forivard, in great agitation.) 
Effie, Effie! What for you speak like that? Ach, 
Himmel! You haff disgraced us, you haff disgraced 
us all. How could you? How could you? How could 
you? 

Effie How could I? How could I help it? I'll 
stand up for my country, against all creation— so I 
will! {Pidling a small flag from out the folds 0/ her 
dress stepping to the front of the stage, waves it 



12 In Charge of the Consul 

dramatically.) America, my Country! Hail Columbia, 
happy land! The gem of the ocean. Land of the free, 
home of the brave, long may her banners wave. The 
stars and stripes forever. Three cheers for the red, 
white and blue! 

CURTAIN FALLS. 

{Curtain may be raised for anti climax and the 
girls come forward each carrying a flag and sing one 
verse of The Red, White and Blue. Madame listens a 
moment then puts hands over her ears and storms out 
C.\D.) 



ACT I L 

{SCENE 1. Salon of American Corisid, same as 
Act I. Cornelia sitting at table, reading. Flora bend- 
ing over her fancy tvork. Effie, icalking up and down 
the room excitedly. ) 

Effie rts dreadful, I tell you. It's perfectly 
dreadful. I never could have believed it of her! She 
has sold herself for a mess of potash. 

Cornelia {Looking up from book.) Potash, why 
Effie! If you can't quote the Bible better than that, I 
wouldn't quote it at all. 

Effie Well, then, what is it? You don't know 
yourself. And what's more, I don't care what you 
call it. It's a shame, a burning shame. 

Cornelia Come, now Effie, don't get so excited. 
Cultivate repose, my dear, cultivate repose. 

Effie Cultivate repose! And let Myra go to de- 
struction? Never! Look at all these American girls 
who have married titles. What happens to them? 
What happens to them, I say? Oh, you know about 
them as ivell as I do. There was poor Daisy Lee, who 
married a Baron. How did he treat her? Beat her 
over the head with a hair-brush, the very first night 
they were married. Made her black his boots and 
wait on him like a slave. All came out in the papers 



In Charge of the Consul 13 

about it, at time of the divorce. I saw it myself. And 
there was Myrtle Dalrymple, who married a Russian 
Count— worse yet. He took her off to a castle, some- 
where on the Black Sea, with a moat around it, {the 
castle I mean) sixty feet wide. And he shut her up in 
a tower, a great high one, and he starved her, he 
did, and she would have died if the American Consul 
hadn't written to the President. And it took the 
whole United States to get her out again. She was 
nothing but skin and bones, when she got back to 
America. I saw her myself. It was awful. And there 
was— 

Cornelia There, that will do, Effie! We know all 
about those stories— greatly exaggerated, no doubt. 
But the Baron is no villain, I am sure. Indeed, he 
has a very good reputation here, as Barons go. After 
all, it will be very nice to visit Myra in her castle in 
the Black Forest, and when we go home, to refer to 
our friend, the Baroness. 

Efie {horrified) Corneha! How can you, how dare 
you? It's treason— rank disloyalty. You wouldn't do 
it yourself— you know you wouldn't. 

Cornelia Me? Oh, no, of course not. I prefer a 
plain, straight, out and out American. 

Flora {slyly) A Heidelberg student, for instance. 
One from Illinois, studying to be a physician? 

Effie Yes, that's it. So she gets an American, she 
don't care what poor Myra gets, {folds her arms, re- 
garding Cornelia indignantly. ) 

Flora I wonder what has become of Charley! He 
hasn't been down for over two w^eeks. 

Cornelia Why, poor fellow, he is studying so hard, 
of course. 

Effie Studying! Yes — fighting duels, and going to 
studenten Kneipes no doubt. Tom told me all about 
it. It's a shame. I think they had all better be going 
to Yale or Harvard. 

Cornelia Effie, it is perfectly absurd of you to be 
so down on everything German. It wouldn't be inter- 



14 In Charge of the Consul 

esting if things weren't different than they are at 
home. 

Effie It isn't the things I'm talking about. It's 
the people. And for us to sit down quietly, and let 
Myra wreck her Wie— {stamps foot.) 

Cornelia Sit down EfRe! Behave yourself. You 
are acting absurd. You don't even know whatMyra's 
going to do. It may be only a little flirtation. They're 
not even engaged yet, as far as I can make out. At 
least she hasn't told me. I tell you— Myra's deep. 

Effie Deep, deep? Well I should say. I pumped 
her two solid hours, yesterday, and when I got 
through, I didn't know any more than when I began. 
{girls hurst out laughing. ) 

Cornelia Well, she must be deep if you can't 
sound her. 

Effie But I can see through a grindstone all right, 
or a mill-stone, which ever it is. And I see which way 
the wind is blowing, too. She doesn't write to Jack 
anymore, scarcely. And she's beginning to run down 
everything American, and praise everything German. 
And she even eats sauer-kraut now, and says it's 
good, and she couldn't bear it at first. And she runs 
to the window every time the soldiers go by, and 
says: aren't they grand, aren't they splendid?" And 
as for the Baron— he's sending her something every 
day— flowers— books— everything, even jewelry; and 
she's tickled to death over it. And she goes every- 
where she thinks she'll see him, even out to maneu- 
vers this cold, raw day, out in the Hartzwald, just 
because he's in it. I wouldn't go a step. It's hea- 
thenish—practicing how to kill people. 

Cornelia Why, Effie! Everybody goes to maneu- 
vers. I didn't go— because— 

Effie Because you thought maybe those Heidel- 
berg students would be coming down today. 

Cornelia {Indignantly) It's no such thing. 

Effie Well, I don't care. {Walking up and down 
distractedly.) Something ought to be done. Some- 



In Charge of the Consid 15 

thing must be done. (Sits doiim at table, rests arms 
on table, covers face ivith hands. Sp^nngs suddenly to 
her feet with happy thought.) Oh, I know what I'll 
do. I'll write to Jack myself. He can save her— no 
one else can. {Sits down, takes up peyi and begins to 
write. ) 

Cornelia (Rising and going over to Effie. ) Now, 
see here, Effie! You are going to do nothing of the 
kind. ( Tries to take pen from her. Struggle. ) This is 
her affair, not ours. 

Effie I am, I tell you — I am. Let me alone. {Strug- 
gle.) 

(Noise outside— girls begin to primp, door C opens, 
enter three Heidelberg students, faces horribly scarred. ) 

Cornelia Why Charlie! So glad to see you. And 
you, Tom and Dick! We thought you 77iight be over 
— but — what's the matter, Charley? Your nose! It's 
a sight! 

Charley That's all right! Had it cut off in a duel 
—clapped it on myself — and there it grew. 

Cornelia Oh, Charley! It's a sight. You're ruined 
for life. And Tom — and all of you. What have you 
been doing? 

To77i Fighting duels. It's great fun. 

Flora (sympathetically.) But don't it hurt 
awfully? 

Tom No. Feels good. (Pats sores 07i face affec- 
tionately. ) 

Dick (Proudly) See mine? Just fresh! Ugh! It's 
bleeding yet! 

Harry And mine! 

Effie Oh, my! That's awful! Where's the arnica 
— or camphor — or — or something? Ring for Susanna! 
(Presses btdton in wall.) Say girls! What's arnica in 
German? Quick! She's coming! Where's the diction- 
ary? rwizs fo rfesA", looks round on table.) Oh, my! 
Think of living in a land where you have to talk out 
of a dictionary. 



16 In Charge of the Consul 

{Susanna enters door C.) 

Effie Quick, Susanna! Bring arnica. Understand? 
A-r-n-i-c-a. Ar-ni-ca! Arnica! 

Cornelia No — no— Dioxogen— Antiphlogistine— 
anything. See? For wounds, (points to face.) 

Susanne Ya, ya. Ich bringe etwas. {eocits C.) 

Effie Hear that? She's going to bring etwas. It 
won't be as good as arnica, I know. 

Cornelia Such dangerous sport. 

Charley Not half as bad as football. Fellows get 
killed in America. I know one fellow had his neck 
broken. Another his back. Another — (enter Susanna 
C with bottle.) 

Effie (Takes bottle ai^d sniffs) Here it is— etwas! 
maybe it will do. 

Flora Here, give it to me. (Takes bottle, pours 
liquid on handkerchief, goes over to Dick who folds 
arms, shuts eyes, leans head back while Flora admin- 
isters liquid to face. ) 

Dick (Ecstatically) Ah! How nice. Feels good. 
Do it some more. 

Tom (Rejwoachfidly) Aw, Miss Effie, aren't you 
you going to heal my gaping wounds? 

Effie No, I'll let Flora do that. I think you'll live 
till morning, anyway. (Throws herself down upon 
the sofa and turns her back to him.) 

Tom Aw, come now. Miss Effie. (Sits down beside 
her and they continue sparring. ) 

Cornelia (Resuming seat.) And what do you 
hear from America? 

Charley (Draiving up chair beside her.) What 
about? The elections? 

Cornelia Yes, I suppose that is most important, 
now. We're all so interested in Jack Strother. Do 
you think he will be elected? 

Charley Don't know. Can't tell yet. Those po- 
litical bosses are putting up a pretty stiff game. You 



In Charge of the Consul 17 

see, Jack was in the fight about those election frauds 
last Spring, sent some of them to the Pen; and now 
the whole rabble is against him. 

Cornelia What a pity! He's such a fine fellow, 
and we are all so proud of him, 

E^e {defiantly) If the women could vote, we'd 
elect him. 

Tom Heigho! Suffragette! Since when? 

Effie Since right now. I am just dying to vote. I 
will, too, some day! See if I don't. 

Dick All right. But Jack don't have to wait for 
that. I tell you, he's going to be elected. Jack is 
popular all through the state and can poll the votes. 
And he is a corking fine fellow, too, and no mistake. 

Harry. You betcha! I say boys, let's give three 
cheers for John Strothers. 

Cornelia {protesting.) No! no! no! Can't you give 
us some of your Heidelberg songs? 

Harry Sure! Let's give them "Heidelberg." 
{Boys sing college song. ) 

Effie Oh, that's splendid. Go on! Go on! I do 
wish Myra was here. 

Charley By the way, where is Miss Myra? 

Effie Gone to the maneuvers, to see how these 
German soldiers learn to kill folks. 

Charley {Springing to his feet) The maneuvers! 
By George! That's where we're bound for. Most 
forgot. We thought maybe you girls would like to go, 
so stopped in, American fashion. Come! Put your 
things on girls, and let's be off. 

Cornelia Oh, I'd love to. But — 

Charley Then, why not? What's to prevent? 

Cornelia You know how it is here, Charley. Young 
girls do not go about with the men as they do in 
America. 

Tom Oh! What's the diff? Come along. You're 
straight out Americans, aren't you? 



18 In Charge of the Consul 

Flora But Tante Marie! She would be horrified. 

Effie Oh! I don't care. Let's go. It would be great 
fun! 

Cornelia No! no! She would never get over it. 
We would be disgraced. 

Dick Disgraced! What rubbish! Aren't we Ameri- 
cans? {Pounds his chest proudly.) W^e'll show these 
Germans what's what. 

Cornelia Yes, but when we are in Rome, we must 
do as the Romans do. 

Dick Poor rule! Poor rule! Cut it out! 

Charley Come, now. Don't keep us waiting. Get 
your things on, and come along. Your Tante Marie 
will never know it. 

Flora They might see us there. 

Effie Wouldn't they be surprised? {dances about 
gleefulhj) Do let's go. 

Cornelia I wish we could, {hesitates) 

Effie Yes, yes. Do let's! 

Charley That's right, plucky American girl! 
Shows your spirit. 

Cornelia Well— if we go— we'd better be getting 
ready. 

Effie All right, Come along. 

{Exeunt all hut Charley and Cornelia. ) 

Cornelia {pausing at door) Oh, Charley! That 
nose! It's awful! 

Charley {laughiyig) Never mind that nose. It's 
all right. Come along! 

{Exeunt Charley and Cornelia.) 
{Enter Susanna, door C, dust brush in hand. ) 

Susanna {jerking chairs around impatiently) Ach 1 

Doze crazy Americans! 

{Enter Fritz, door C, holding large jmckage in hand) 
Fritz {softly) Susanna! Susanna! {a pause, 

shouts) Susanna! 



In Charge of the Consul 19 

Susanna (starts violently, nearly falls over chair) 
Fritz! For why, you yell at me like dat? 

Fritz (apologetically) You did not hear. I spoke 
softly. 

Susanna You did not. 

Fritz I did. 

Susanna (standing ivith arms akimbo) Well! and 
what haff you got now? 

Fritz A present— a gift from my Master, der Bar- 
on Von Barnhelm, to one of your crazy Americans. 

Susanna They are not crazy. Don't you say such 
a thing, (stamps foot) 

Fritz Why aren't all Americans crazy? 

Susanna No indeed! My young ladies are not! 
Here, give it to me. (takes jxickage from Fritz, ex- 
amines it curiously, sets it on table, univrajjs it, gazes 
at box admiringly) Ach Himmel! A box of jewels 
for my lady! It is true— it is true! My Lady— she 
will marry the Baron! 

Fintz (groaris) Ach, my poor Master! 

Susanna (groans) Ach, my poor lady. She goes 
not to America now. And I— ach— I go alone. 
(weeps) 

Fritz (horrified) What, Susanna, you go to 
America? 

Susanna Ah, yes, why not? 

Fritz But Susanna, what would I do? Ach, Sus- 
anna, go not. Go not. I pray you, 'Tis a fearful 
place, —this America. Indians— buffaloes— wild things. 
Ach, mein Gott! 

Susanna Nein, nein. 'Tis a wonderful place— 
this America. All so rich. Gold, gold, everywhere! 
Pick it up off the street, off the trees, on the road— 
everywhere, Ach, w^onderful— this America, (turns, 
walks aivay. ) 

Fritz (follou'ing after, hands clasped entreatingly) 
But, Susanna, what would I do? What would I do? 
Ach, Susanna. 



20 In Charge of the Consul 

Susanna (ivhisks about, 'puts hands to mouth, loud 
whispers) Go yourself, you dummy! 

Fyntz {hlinking eyes stupidly) What? I— I — go 
to America? Me— me— ? Why, what would I do in 
America? 

Susanna (gives him a shove) Get rich, of course. 
'Tis easy enough, in America. Come— I show you. 

Fritz {edging up toward her, sheepishly) Ah, 
Susanna, you go— I go. I— go— you go. So? 

Stisanna (coquetishly) Ah so. You go— I go. I 
go— you go. 

Fritz Ach, Susanna, we fly togedder. 

Susanna {ecstatically) Ya, Ya, we fly— togedder! 
{head dropson Iritz's shoulder.) 

Voice {from without, calls) Susanna! Susanna! 

{Both start violejitly, run frantically to door. Ex- 
eunt Susanna and Fritz, door C.) 

{Curtain is dropped for one-half minute.) 

{SCENE 11. Same as scene 1. Lights turned low. 
Myra in negligee, enters door L, walks to table, sits 
doivn, opens box containing jewels. Regards them a 
moment then buries face in hands. Flora in negligee 
enters L, comes forivard hesitatingly.) 

Flora Myra? 

Myra {Looks around) What is it, dear? 

Flora WTiy don't you come to bed, Myra? It's 
late— after twelve. {Comes nearer) What is the 
matter? You are unhappy. I can see it. Tell me, 
won't you? {Sits down on stool beside her.) 

Myra Oh, no! You are very much mistaken, my 
dear. I am very happy. Sit down here, beside me, 
Flora, and I will tell you a secret. That is, it is a 
secret for a few days only, then all will know. 

Flora Oh, Myra! Is it the Baron? 

Myra Yes. Is that not delightful? See the beau- 
tiful jewels he has sent me. (Takes box from table, 
opens it, lifts up pearl necklace) See! These are the 



In Charge of the Consul 21 

Barnhelm treasures. A pearl necklace, that was given 
to one of the Baron's great grandmothers by the Grand 
Duke of Baden. Here is a jewelled bracelet that 
once belonged to the Empress Josephine. And here 
are rings too, ever so many rubies, sapphires, all 
sorts of beautiful things. {She spreads them out upon 
the table) 

Flora But Myra. Think what it all means. You 
give up your home, — your country— everything! 

Myra (impatieiithj) Everything! Why what do 
you mean child? I am getting everything I want. I 
want to live in Germany. It is so picturesque and 
romantic. Life is much broader here, so much more 
expansive, more cultured, more— everything! 

Flora (anxiously) But Myra! Remember what 
happens to American girls who marry for titles. 

Myra (angrily) Yes, I remember all about them. 
But this is a different case altogether. Berthold, the 
Baron, is not an adventurer, or an impostor. We 
know all about him and his family, —the bluest blood 
in Germany. He can trace his ancestors back for a 
thousand years. One of his ancestors fought in the 
Crusades. Berthold, was named after him. I think 
it is a beautiful name, don't you? He has told me so 
many beautiful and interesting things about his an- 
cestors. I feel already as if they belonged to me. 
He has pictures of them all, down in his castle in the 
Black Forest. Only think of living in a castle in the 
Black Forest. I will have you girls down to visit me, 
of course. Wouldn't you enjoy that? 

Flora Y— y-e-s. Yes, —but— 

Myra But, what? 

Flora (hesitatingly) I hope you'll be happy. 

Myra Happy? Of course I'll be happy. Why 
shouldn't I? How could I be otherwise? 

Flora Y-e-s— Oh, yes— if — if— you love one an- 
other. 

Myra (impatiently) Love one another! Well! 
I'm sure Berthold has shown his love for me, by 



22 In Charge of the Consul 

breaking away from that horrid, detestable old aunt 
of his, giving up her fortune and all. 

Flora And you, Myra? 

Myra Me? Oh! Well, yes — of course I — I— am 
very fond of the Baron. He is so splendid— so noble— 
so commanding; not so ordinary— so commonplace, 
as 

Flora As Jack ? 

Myra How provoking you are, Flora. I had 
counted on your sympathy. 

Flora Oh, yes, dear, dear Myra. You have my 
sympathy always — always. {Putting her arm about 
Myra, leaning her head upon her arm.) I do so want 
you to be happy. I do indeed. It all sounds very 
grand. The castle, and the jewels, and the ances- 
tors, and all that. But there is something greater 
than all these. It is— it is— love. 

Myra Love? Why, Flora! You dear child! What 
do you know of love? You have never been in love, 
have you? 

Flora Oh, no, no. Not in love with any man. 
But I am in love with— love. r 

Myra In love with love! What an idea. I suppose 
you are in love with an ideal. 

Flora No, just in love with LOVE. 

Myra And what then, is love? 

Flora {Recites poem to soft music.) 

"Love is just a cobweb wet with morning dew; 
Love is just a fairy spell— invisible to view — 
Atread— a touch too heavy, and the cobweb is not 

there, 
A sigh too long and lo! the spell has vanished into 

air! 

"Love is just a morning-glory, doomed at noon to die, 
Love is only half a story— told in passing by; 
Love is gold so delicate the faintest flame would melt 
it. 



In Charge of the Consul 23 

Love's Nothing; but— God help the one who's never 
known or felt it." 

Flora (Sits doivn again beside Myra.) That, dear 
Myra, is what love is. 

Myra. (Sighs. ) Yes, dear, that is very sweet- 
very lovely, but not every one understands it like 
that. I hope dear, some day you will find some one 
who is worthy of your high ideal. (Kisses her.) 

Flora No. I do not care if he never comes. I shall 
always be in love with love. 

Myra. Yes, he will come, some day, I am sure. 
But as for me, I am not in love with love. I am in 
love with life. Full, rich, glowing life, resplendent 
with all the pleasures and delight, wealth, a high so- 
cial position, and an illustrious name can give. I 
would move among the noble and great on earth, and 
lead a brilliant existence, courted and admired, and 
looked up to by all. These are the things that lure 
me on. This is the happiness I seek. And I shall find 
it. Yes, I know myself. 

Flora Are you sure you know yourself? (Holding 
her fast and lookmg up into her face.) 

Myra Of course, I do. How foolish you are, 

Flora But won't you sometimes wake up, and 
think of the old home, the old life — and Jack? 

Myra Hush, Flora! Hush. (Angrily.) Don't you 
see, I'm trying to forget all that? I want to forget. 
I want to be happy. Happy, I say! I am happy— 
happy— happy. (Chokes, puts her hand to her throat. 
Both rise. ) 

Flora. No, you are not, Myra. 

Mijra (Stamps her foot.) Yes, I am, I tell you. 
Perfectly happy. Go away! Go away, I tell you! 
{Pushes Flora from her.) I thought you'd under- 
stand. I thought you'd sympathize. But you don't. 
Go away! Go to bed. I'll come some time. I don't 
want to go yet. I would not sleep a wink. 

Flora (Coming close and putting her arms around 



24 In Charge of the Consul 

her. ) Forgive me, dear, for making- you unhappy. I 
do want you to be happy. I do indeed. Good night. 
(Kisses her.) 

Myra Good night, dear. 

(Exit Flora L. 

Myra (Stands in the middle of room for a moment 
with her hands pressed to her cheek.) Why did she 
do it? Why did she? (Throivs back her head.) I've 
got to go through it now I've got to. I've written 
Jack that I'm never coming back. Perhaps he'll un- 
derstand. I don't know. There's no turning back 
now. I've got to face it. And I mean to be happy. 
Anybody can be happy that wants to. All you have 
to do, is to say you're happy, and you are happy. And 
I say, I a??ihappy. lam — lam — lam. (Stamps foot.) 
I am perfectly — perfectly — happy. (Throivs herselj 
upon couch and sobs. ) 



ACT III. 
SCENE 1. (Same as before. ) 

(Jack enters hurriedly. Sta7^es around curiously— 
walks up and doivn restlessly. Sits down at table- 
taps ivith fingers, impatiently. Enter Charley door C. 
Both give a start of surprise, bolt forward joyously.) 

Jack Charley Travers! Bless my soull Who'd ever 
thought of seeing you? How are you, old boy? 

Charley Jack Strathers! W^ell, I declare! What 
brought you way over here? Thought you said noth- 
ing in Tarnation could get you across that water, and 
here you are. 

Jack I didn't suppose I'd ever have anything im- 
portant enough to bring me over, but here I am, old 
fellow! Never mind what did it. Tell me about your- 
self. What are you doing here in Karlsruhe? Thought 
you were in Heidelberg, learning how to cut folks to 
pieces, and kill them off generally. 



In Charge of the Consul 25 

Charley Oh, go long with your nonsense. I'm 
still at it, but a fellow has to have a little recreation 
now and then, so I run down here to Karlsruhe once 
in a while, to— to— see the Consul, 

Jack Yes, Consul! I warrant you it's a girl down 
here. Say, pretty nice place, isn't it? 

Charley Sure! Dandy! Nice bunch of girls here. 
Americans. Spending a year at the Consul's— but, say, 
what are you here for? 

Jack To see the Consul, of course. He isn't here 
now. The maid says he'll be back soon. I've got— a 
little business. 

Charley Business! You haven't been getting into 
any trouble have you? Look here! What's all this 
about anyway? Last I heard you were running for 
the Legislature. This is a funny time for you to be 
leaving. You had better be sticking to your job, or 
you'll get left. 

{Both sit doivn) 

Jack Yes, but I had something more important 
on hand. 

Charley More important than getting elected! 
Ha! Ha! That can mean only one thing — getting 
married. See here, old boy! Out with it. It's one of 
these girls, sure as I live. Which one? You can't 
have Cor— Miss Read. By George! She's bespoke, 
and the tall one — the Schone Amerikanerin, they call 
her— she's going to marry one of the high monkey- 
monks, here. 

Jack (Starts from his seat.) What is that? Going 
to be married? It's a lie! I don't believe it! (Brings 
his fist down upon the table. ) 

Charley Shut up. Jack! Not so loud. Somebody 
might overhear you. 

Jack Hear nothing! But what's all this! You are 
talking about Miss Wentworth? 

Charley Oh, I don't know a thing about it. Didn't 
know you were acquainted with her. She's been go- 



26 In Charge of the Consul 

ing with some of these officers, and of course rumors 
like that are bound to get started. But, if you are 
interested in that quarter, you had better be getting 
busy. But tell me, how long have you been here? 
When did you come? 

Jack About two hours ago. Stopped down town 
somewhere and got a lunch, such as it was. Had a 
most ridiculous experience there, too. I say, aren't 
these officers over here, the limit? 

Charley What's the matter with you and the offi- 
cers? Out with it, old boy! 

Jack Well, you see, it happened like this. I was 
walking out of the restaurant when I got through, 
minding my own business and not paying any atten- 
tion to anybody, when I accidentally stumbled over the 
sword of an officer who was sitting at the table next 
to mine. The fellow sprang up as if I'd struck him, 
and began talking Dutch to me. So, I pulled out my 
speech book, thinking I'd answer him in his own lin- 
go, sort of apologize, you know. But what I said, 
they didn't like at all. The whole bunch of them 
jumped up and began talking! You should have 
heard them! 

Charley But what did you say to them in German ? 

Jack Oh, I don't know. Here it is on this line. 
(Pulls out small yeUmv back book and points to line.) 
It says, Schwegen sie! Schwegen sie! That's, excuse 
me, isn't it? 

Charley No, you dummy! It means, shut up. 

Jack (Sta7'es at page a moment — looks sheepish.) 
Well I declare! That explains it. I couldn't imagine 
what it was all about. One of them handed me his 
card, though, so I guess he isn't so upset after all. 
Here it is— Baron Von Barnhelm. 

Charley Handed you his card! Oh, you dummy! 
(Falls back in chair laughing.) Don't you know, old 
boy, you've been challenged to a duel? And to the 
Baron Von Barnhelm! That's great! 



In Charge of the Consul 27 

Jack Duel, duel! Duel nothing. I don't know any- 
thing about fighting duels. 

Charley Of course you don't. But you're in for 
one now. 

Jack Ridiculous! I'll do nothing of the kind. 

Charley But you'll have to. It'samatter of honor. 

Jack Honor, nothing. It's a silly, absurd thing to 
do, and I'm not going to make a fool of myself. 

Charley Now, look here. Jack! It'sgot to bedone. 
You leave this thing to me, and I'll see you through, 
so you'll not get hurt. 

Jack Get hurt! I'm not afraid of getting hurt. 
But I'm not going to be made a fool of. 

Charley Now you listen to me. I understand this 
business, — 

Jack I should think you did, from the looks of 
your face. That nose, Charley! 

Charley {grins) Great! Isn't it? Proud of that. 
{pats it proudly) I'm a champion, I am! I can put 
you on to it. Now listen. We will give them an 
American duel. 

Jack Never heard of it. 

Charley Nor I. But we can invent one on the spot. 
Let me see. {meditates) Pistols. No— I have it- 
pills. 

Jack Pills! 

Charley Yes pills, one supposed to be poison, the 
other not. See! They are ready to believe any old 
thing we tell them over here, about America. Now 
then, which shall it be, pistols or pills? 

Jack Neither one, I tell you. 

Charley But you wwsi. You don't understand how 
it is over here. I do, leave it all to me. I am your sec- 
ond now, and will go and arrange matters, {rises, 
starts for door. Jack follotus, stops him.) 

Jack Charley, you shan't— 

Charley That's all right old boy. You stay here, 
and make my excuses to the ladies. Back soon, so 



28 In Charge of the Consul 

long! Ta-ta! {rushes out of room.) {Jack paces 
nervously up and down room. Enter Effie, Cornelia, 
Flora, door C. 

Effie {rushes foru-ard, seizes Jack's hand) Jack 
Strothers! You did come, didn't you, I knew you 
would! Did you get my letter? 

Jack Sure I did! Didn't understand,— but thought 
I had better come on and find out. So here I am. 

Cornelia {shaking hands cordially.) Awfully glad 
to see you. 

Flora So am I. This is quite a surprise. 

Jack Yes, yes— So it is. Miss Myra— she is not 
here? 

Cornelia Yes, she's coming, {steps to door, calls) 
M yra, come here. Somebody to see you. 

{Myra enters languidly, starts, when she sees Jack. 
Offers hand coldly. ) 

Myra {stiffly) Well, Jack, this is a surprise! How 
did you happen to come? I— thought you didn't like 
Europe. 

Jack But I didn't come to see Europe. 

Myra Oh, on business, I suppose. 

Jack {regarding Myra anxiouMy) Yes — yes— on 
business. 

{Myra sits doivn, at further end of room, plays ab- 
sently with her gloves. Embarrassing pause. ) 

Cornelia {kindly) Did you come by way of Ham- 
burg? 

Jack No, Antwerp. Quickest way I could get 
here. 

Myra {with a shrug) The American way! Al- 
ways in a rush, {another embarrassing pause.) 

Cornelia When did you arrive? 

Jack About noon. Got me a lunch somewhere 
down town, and came along out here, where I found 
our friend, Charley Travers. 

Cornelia Charley! Why, where is he? 



In Charge of the Consul 29 

Jack Well, to tell the truth, he has gone to attend 
to a little matter of business for me. 

Cornelia Business for you? Why, what on earth? 

Jack (hesitating) Most absurd thing, I confess. 
Might as well out with it, though, first as last. I 
have been challenged to a duel. Now what do you 
know about that? Me, a duel! 

Throws his head back and laughs. 

Myra A duel. (Clasping her hands and looking 
horrified. ) 

Jack. Yes, actually, a duel. Fellow handed me 
his card. Let me see! I believe I've got it yet. (Pidls 
it out of pocket. Effie snatches it from him and reads 
it.) 

Efie It's the Baron von Barnhelm! 

Myra (Springs to her feet. ) The Baron von Barn- 
helm? 

Jack Well, what of that? You know him? 

Efie Why, yes! He's the one who Myra is going 
to — to— 

Cornelia Hush, Effie! Hush. 

Jack What's that? 

Myy^a (Rushing foriuard, hands clasped.) Jack, 
you must not fight the Baron. You must net! He is 
one of the greatest duelists in this country. He 
would kill you. 

Jack That's all right. I'm not afraid of getting 
killed. But I want to know what all this means. 
Who is this Baron? 

Effie He's the one — 

Myra For heaven's sake, keep still Efiie! Don't 
tell him. Don't— (Begins to sob.) 

Jack Tell me what? I want to know who it is is 
going to kill me so fast. 

Myra Oh Jack! Don't fight! Don't fight! (Catches 
hold of his arm.) You don't know how to fight, and 
he — he— 



30 In Charge of the Consul 

Jack (Bristling lip.) You think I don't know how 
to fight, do you? Well, I don't when there's nothing 
to fight about. But, when there is — (Looks fierce 
and doubles up list. ) 

Myra Oh, Jack! I entreat! I implore you! He 
will kill you, I know he will. And I couldn't bear it. I 
couldn't! It would break my heart. Dear Jack! Dear 
Jack! (Puts hands on his shoidders.) Come away. 
Let's go back to America. Anywhere! Anywhere 
with you! 

Jack (Aside) Why this is great. Yes, Myra! (Puts 
his arm around her.) Just as soon as I've fought 
this duel. It's my honor at stake, you know. And if 
I fall- 

Mijra You Jalll Oh, Jack! It would Ai7/ me. How 
could I live without you? Oh, never, never, neverl 

Jack Look here, Myra! I thought — I heard — 

Myra (Shamefacedly) Yes, I know, I suppose 
you heard. And the letter I wrote ycu. It was aw- 
ful! I don't know how I could have done it, I confess 
it all. I've been a fool, a crazy idiot, a simpleton, 
but I've got my eyes open at last. And, oh Jack, 
forgive me! Say you forgive me! 

Jack Forgive you? Well, I should say. It's 
worth coming all the way across the ocean to hear 
you say that. It may cost my election — but I don't 
care, so I've got you. Say, got a parson over here? 
I mean to take you back with me. Will you go? Do you 
think you could be happy, Myra, in the little cottage 
on High street? 

Mijra Could I? Just try me. I'm tired of all 
this high life business. I want just the simple life, 
together. I want to learn to cook, and sew, and 
mend and darn. And say Jack, (holding hands and 
gazing into each other^seyes affectionately) I can make 
lovely fudge. 

Jack You can? Well! Guess we can live on fudge 
— for a while, any way. 

Myra But, I can make Angel's food, too. 



In Charge of the Consul 31 

Jack Good! We can have fudge for breakfast- 
Angel's food for dinner — but, what would we have 
for supper? 

Myra Oh, Jack! You dear, good natured Jack! 
You think I'm going to starve you? Wait and see. 

Jack All right. We'll start for home, as soon as 
this crazy duel affair is over. 

Myra But you're not going to fight, noivl 

Jack Sure! I'm bound to. My — my honor, you 
know. (Looks at his watch. ) Am due there now. If 
I fall- 

Myra You shan't Jack! You shan't go, I say! 
(Holds him fast by coat tail.) 

Jack There, let go, Myra! I'm bound to see it 
through. I'll be back — 

Myra Oh, Jack! Come back! (Jack disappears. 
Myrawrings hands. Girls croivd around her to offer 
sympathy.) He's gone! He's gone! He don't know 
how to shoot. He couldn't hit a barn. And as for 
swords— he never held one in his hand, I am sure. He 
couldn't cut a cat's tail off. Oh! What shall I do? 

Effie I tell you. We'll all go down to your Uncle 
Henry's office and find out where they fight duels, 
and then we'll go right there. Rush in between them 
— like they do on the stage, and stop it. 

All The very thing! We'll go. We'll go this 
minute. 

(All rush out of the room in great excitement. ) 
CURTAIN. 



SCENE 1 1. Forest (Officers talking- with Baron 
at left side of stage. Charley at right side conferriftg 
tvith little man, with big goggles, bushy hair and huge 
coat. I able filled ivith bottles, etc. Jack sits apart 
on camp stool. Baron approaches Charley in lofty 
manner. ) 

Baron Do you mean to say that such duels as this 
are customary in America? 



32 In Charge of the Consul 

Charlie Certainly. It is the only kind we allow. A 
great improvement upon the old kind, I assure you. 
Fists are primeval; swords medieval; pistols, already 
passee; but pills are the latest and most approved 
methods. It is also the most scientific— the most 
sanitary. No ghastly wounds — no messy flow of 
blood— all swiftly and neatly done, the body ready for 
interment. 

Officer Sonderbar! Unschicklich! Unaussprechlich! 
. Baron Truly, most astonishing. (Bends over ta- 
ble, adjusts monocle, gazes at two large pills on salver. ) 
They are identical. 

Charlie Yes, to all outward appearance. One is 
harmless. The other is composed of the most deadly 
poison known to man. It iS a secret preparation 
known only in America, save to Dr. Gughenheimer 
of Cologne. He is the celebrated chemist known all 
over the world, as you probably know. He comes, at 
my request, to see that all is properly administered. 
You see it is extremely dangerous, being highly ex- 
plosive, must be kept insulated, but it does the work 
quickly and deadly. Attacks the articular veins, 
producing a crustified exegesis of the percranial epi- 
dermis, stopping the action of the heart, and paralyz- 
ing the brain, respiration ceases, and there you are. 

Baron Abscheulich! Ungeheurl Schrecklich! 

Charley Time presses, gentlemen. (Looks at his 
ivatch.) Step forward, gentlemen. (Doctor lifts 
salver, holds it between Jack and the Baron. Girls rush 
in.) 

Myra Jack! You haven't begun? Oh, I'm so 
thankful we've come in time. (Goes up to Jack.) I'm 
not going to let you fight. Jack, not while I'm here. 
(Stands before him protectingly and glares at the 
Baron. ) 

Effie No! We don't fight duels in America. We 
don't allow it. 

Baron (Haughtily.) Ah! Not even with pills? 

Cornelia Pills? I should say not. W^ho ever heard 



In Charge of the Consul 33 

of such a thing? Charlie Travers,what nonsense have 
you been up to? 

Baron So? A clever hoax. I see! Quite American- 
ish. What one might expect of an American. 

Myra (Coming forward with great dignity and 
politeness. ) Allow me to present to you, my fiancee, 
Mr. Jack Strothers. He has only just arrived in Ger- 
many and does not understand your customs. If he 
has in any way insulted you, it was unintentional I am 
sure, and he is willing to apologize. Is it not so? 
{Turns to Jack.) 

Jack. Sure! I thought I had done so. That's what 
it said in the speech book, you know, only I got the 
wrong line. I beg your pardon now in English. Would 
have done so in the first place if I thought you'd un- 
derstand. {Offers to shake hands hut Baron draws 
hack. ) 

Baron But this affair— what you call it? 

Jack Bluff! Just a bluff, that's all. Yes, I ap- 
ologize for that too, and now I invite you to our wed- 
ding. 

Baron {Looking at Myra.) Your wedding? Frau- 
lein Wentworth! Is it possible? 

Myra Yes, Baron. I hope you will forgive me, also. 
I thought I did not love him any more, that I could 
forget, but I found that I could not. You would not 
wish me to, I am sure — 

Effie And her money's all gone. Bank broke the 
other day, and her uncle died and left all his money 
to an Orphan Asylum — 

Baron Ah! You say her father failed— her uncle — 

Effie Yes, and Myra's as poor as a church mouse 
now. But when Jack gets elected they'll get along. 

{Enter Madam W. and the Consid. R.) 

Madam {Greatly agitated, panting and bloiving 
profusely.) Ach, do I find you at last? Your uncle, 
he haff told me, you are here— without chaperone! 
And for what? Du lieber Gott! It is fearful! The 



34 In Charge of the Consul 

duel! Haff it been fought, already? No, no, I see, we 
are in time. Ach! Es frent mich, dear Baron — and 
the Herr Senator. {Turns toward Jack.) 

All The Herr Senator? 

Madam Yes, the Herr Senator. The Herr Consul 
he haff told me all. He haff received a telegram — 

Myra Oh, Uncle Henry! Is it true? Is he elected? 

Consul Yes, my dear, I received an hour ago, a 
telegram, for Mr. Strothers in my care, stating that 
he had been elected by an overwhelming majority. 
Mr. Strothers, I most heartily congratulate you. 

All So do I. So do I. (All gather around Jack 
and shake his hand.) 

Jack Thanks! Thanks! That means I must be 
getting back to America in double quick time. Myra! 
How soon do you think you can be ready? 

Madam {Throwing up her hands in amazement.) 
Ready, Myra ready! Why! What mean you? She 
does not go! She remains here! She is to marry the 
Baron Von Barnhelm. 

Baro7i {Bowing low to the Madam) Impossible, 
my dear Madam! The circumstances being thus 
changed— 

Madam Circumstances? I do not understand. 

Effie Oh, it's about the bank failing and the 
Orphan Asylum— 

Cornelia {Draiuing Efj^ie 6«cA;.)Effie! how can 
you? 
Madam Ah, my dear Baron, believe me— 

Baron Permit me to say my dear Madam, that it 
will be im.possible for me to marry your niece. The 
honor of my house, forbids. 

Effie And Myra's house, too. It's a two story 
brick on High street, with a cupalo and a sleeping 
porch, and all the modern improvements; just ready 
to go in. Jack has been fixing it up for her all sum- 
mer. My! I'm just crazy to see it! 



In Charge of the Consul 35 

Jack Then, I invite you all to a house party as 
soon as we get back to America. 

Madam Ach du lieber Gott! (Turns away iveep- 
ing. Myra goes to her, puts her' arm, about her to 
comfort her. Officers start to retire, but Jack calls 
them, back.) 

Jack Don't go Baron! I want to invite you and 
your friends to our wedding. I say, Consul Went- 
worth, how soon can it come off. 

Consul Tonight, if you like. Our friend Bishop 
Foster is in town, and can perform the ceremony, 
with my sanction. 

Effie Oh! Goodie— goodie- goodie! (dancing up 
and down ivith delight.) Hasn't everything turned 
out lovely? Such a romance! Baron and duels, and 
narrow escapes, just like on the stage! Now for the 
wedding, and then— we'll all go back, to 0— hee— o. 

CURTAIN. 



HERE ARE 



SOME OF OUR VERY NEW TITLES 



It is always a satisfaction to be the first to 
get hold of new and novel entertainments, 
and here is YOUR chance: 

PLAYS FOR FEMALE CHARACTiatS 

Aunt Deborah's First Luncheon 25c 

When Shakespeare Struck The Town 25c 

Ye Tea Party of Ye Olden Time -25c 

TWO CLEVER MUSICAL PLAYS FOR CHRDREN 

Under The Sugar Plum Tree 40c 

in Little Folks Towh.- „ 40c 

TWO MEW HOCK TRIALS 

Father Time's Christmas Trial ~ - 15c 

Will Soakum's Matrimonial Bureau - 25c 

TBREE SPLENDID BOOKS 

Dramatic Stories, Myths and Legends... S Paper 35c; Boards 50c 

For Children— The Stage or School Roeai ( 

Good Stunts for Commencement Week 50c 

Novelties That WOl Enliven This Festive Occaston 

What to Say For Closing Day — 3flc 

Good Dialogs, Exercises. Etc. for Closing Day. 
SEND ORDERS TO 

ELDRIDGE ENTERTAINMENT HOUSE 

Franklin, Ohio 



" THE HOUSE THAT HELPS " 

WB ARE SPECIALISTS IN 

Amateur Entertainments 

It Is not a side line with us, but we 
devote our entire time to that business 



Realizing that many people have grown 
weary of searching through catalogs and read- 
ing entertainments only to discard them as 
unavailable we appreciate the fact that our cus- 
tomers have often spoken of us as "the house 
that helps." We have had practical exper- 
ience in selecting and producing amateur en- 
tertainments and we feel that we know what 
will please the public, and what can be pro- 
duced under certain conditions. Otir experience is 
at your (fisposaL Write us, giving full particulars 
of your special need in the way of an enter- 
tainment, and we will select a play, an oper- 
etta, a drill or even an entire progi-am for you. 
But always enclsse a stamp for the reply. 

Remember, that in addition to our entertain- 
ments we carry a large line of publications of 
other dealers. If in doubt as to the entertain- 
ment you desire, send particulars and we 
will suggest something to fit. 
We are at your service. 

ILDRIDGE ENTERTAINMENT HOUSE 

Franklin, Ohio 



YOUR NEXT P 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



015 910 125 3 

nuuiinifi : 



Something Out of The Ordinary 
In High-Glass Humorous Songs. 



MUSICAL SKETCHES FOR YOUNG LADIES 

By Harry C. Eldridge 

These fill an urgent need in supplying 
musical numbers with action, for any secular 
pros-ram, for girls or ladies of any age. Clever 
words and singable music combined to make 
novel numbers for your entertainment. 

IKE HAT OF OTHER DAYS. Everyone knows how 
ridiculous the changing styles make out-of- 
date hats appear. The song is based on this 
fact, and the appearance of these hats of 
other days" will cause loads of merriment. 

"I CAN'T DO A THING WITH MY HAiR SINCE IT'S WASHED." 
Did you ever hear the above expression? They 
all say it. This song is for a merry group 9f 
girls who have trouble in keeping their hair m 
bounds. A jolly song. 

REDUCED TO $1.99. The figures in a dry goods 
show window are indignant at having to par- 
ticipate in so many "reduction sales," and, 
revolting, walk off the stage after telhng 
their troubles in song. The eccentric motions 
of these figures make a very laughable number. 

THE WINKIH6 WAYS OF GRANDMA'S DAYS. Sung in 
costume, this portrays the many welcome and 
pleasing- costumes of "ye oWen times." Di- 
rections for minuet included. Very enjoyable. 
Any one of the ahe ve sent postpaid on receipt tf 25 ceite. 

ELDRIDGE ENTERTAINMENT HOUSE 

Franklin, Ohio 



